Fave Lyric #1
"Fuck y'all. All y'all. If you don't like me - blow me!" (Dr Dre)
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
Leave your mark on the world - Be a horse's ass!
Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells...?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that
gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English
expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built
the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel
spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England,
because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and
England)
for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to
match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the
chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter
of wheel spacing.
Thus, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches
is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial
Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever (almost).
So the next time you are handed a spec and told "we have always done it
that way" and wonder what horse's ass came up with that,
you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were
made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two
war horses.
Now the twist to the story... When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on
its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached
to the sides of the main fuel tank.
These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol
at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the
SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had
to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in
the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The
tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad
track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses'
behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the
world's most advanced transportation system was determined over
two thousand years ago by the width of a Horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important ?? Hmmmmm..
Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells...?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that
gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English
expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built
the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel
spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England,
because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and
England)
for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to
match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the
chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter
of wheel spacing.
Thus, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches
is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial
Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever (almost).
So the next time you are handed a spec and told "we have always done it
that way" and wonder what horse's ass came up with that,
you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were
made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two
war horses.
Now the twist to the story... When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on
its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached
to the sides of the main fuel tank.
These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol
at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the
SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had
to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in
the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The
tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad
track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses'
behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the
world's most advanced transportation system was determined over
two thousand years ago by the width of a Horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important ?? Hmmmmm..
Friday, April 23, 2004
Goin' up up up!
a date that I won't be forgetting in a hurry ... 21/04/04!! My beloved "Norwich City" secure promotion back to the premiership after 9 long years in the wilderness of the first division! With 4 games in hand (none of which was able to get tickets following the ticket-frenzy that has come with our success this year) and being unable to see my team itself, I decided to head to Selhurst Park, home of "Crystal Palace" - who only needed to hold our nearest promotion rivals "Sunderland" to a draw, in order to guarantee, mathematically, our return to the top flight.
And what a decision! Palace won 3-0 in scintillating style making it impossible for Sunderland to catch us (see league table link below). The whole experience was made more memorable when - against our better judgement, we were enticed out of the ticket queue at the promise of "excellent half price tickets" from 'the guy with the huge black eye'! Who then proceeded to walk us right past the ticket barriers, through a supposedly padlocked chain mail fence, right past some stewards - unconvincingly - appeared not to notice how we had jsut got in, then - and this is the icing on the cake - into the VIP/ Press section!! We didn't notice immediately until the game kicked off and we were surrounded by smartly dressed, passive observers with pens and notepads. Top staff, including Managers of West Ham and Cardiff City were right in front of us, while Tottenham's assistant manager and Arsenal's ex-manager were seated literally in the seats in front of us.
Things kicked off following half time when we realised that our entrance must have been an inside job and no, we were not going to be evicted. So, Champagne has been spilled and after 9 long, long years - we're there! On the ball City!
Links:
Norwich City official site
Capital Canaries (Norwich City London Supporters Org)
Division One Table
Norwich in the press
Fanzine
a date that I won't be forgetting in a hurry ... 21/04/04!! My beloved "Norwich City" secure promotion back to the premiership after 9 long years in the wilderness of the first division! With 4 games in hand (none of which was able to get tickets following the ticket-frenzy that has come with our success this year) and being unable to see my team itself, I decided to head to Selhurst Park, home of "Crystal Palace" - who only needed to hold our nearest promotion rivals "Sunderland" to a draw, in order to guarantee, mathematically, our return to the top flight.
And what a decision! Palace won 3-0 in scintillating style making it impossible for Sunderland to catch us (see league table link below). The whole experience was made more memorable when - against our better judgement, we were enticed out of the ticket queue at the promise of "excellent half price tickets" from 'the guy with the huge black eye'! Who then proceeded to walk us right past the ticket barriers, through a supposedly padlocked chain mail fence, right past some stewards - unconvincingly - appeared not to notice how we had jsut got in, then - and this is the icing on the cake - into the VIP/ Press section!! We didn't notice immediately until the game kicked off and we were surrounded by smartly dressed, passive observers with pens and notepads. Top staff, including Managers of West Ham and Cardiff City were right in front of us, while Tottenham's assistant manager and Arsenal's ex-manager were seated literally in the seats in front of us.
Things kicked off following half time when we realised that our entrance must have been an inside job and no, we were not going to be evicted. So, Champagne has been spilled and after 9 long, long years - we're there! On the ball City!
Links:
Norwich City official site
Capital Canaries (Norwich City London Supporters Org)
Division One Table
Norwich in the press
Fanzine
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Hmmm. At suggestion of big brother (www.isogloss.com) time to give this brain-dumping tool a stab. Thinking it could work quite well as a space to dump random thoughts that I kick myself about forgetting, almost as instantly as they appear. May also add that this is intended for no one but me, so hold back on the feedback yeah.
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